Life never likes to let us be still for too long, if we stop at the cliff edge it will come and push us right off. I was on that cliff edge but decided to jump. Funny because it didn't seem so far at the time. Falling seemed it would be just a small step, yet it has become never ending. At the bottom it is white a blank canvas, where the shell of you brakes, you are completely broken, you are vulnerable, lonely and what feels beyond repair. You are lost no identity no remainder of who you once where. There are pieces that no longer fit or too broken to fix back. Your shell will be forever broken and parts of you lost. Your saving grace is somehow the rest can be rebuilt if you can face the struggle.
I have made choices in my life I am not proud of but I cannot change them either. All I can do is take a good look at the pieces I have and re evaluate and re build, learning who I am again and learning from the mistakes I have already made to prepare me for the mistakes I'm about to make. The holes that are left will always be open and hurt no matter how I try to cover them up. They will forever remain raw.
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